Realizations of Life.

Seems awful to start my blog on a bad note, so I will give a quick update and highlight some of the good to start it off. Last week was great. I got to see my home church and let me tell you I loved seeing familiar faces and people who just make me happy. So glad to have them up here! =] Also, I have had some great time to get closer with God, and let me tell you, I LOVE seeing the great things God is doing up here at camp. So many kids have come up here and gotten so much work done. It is such a blessing that camp is so full this summer, full of youth just so excited to serve God. I can see God everywhere up here, and it is just so amazing to get that closer glimpse of him. Next, I managed to find a song that has helped me cope this week with the loss of my grandma. I believe it is an old song, but I have the remake by glee, (of course) and the lyrics just really make me smile:

“Smile though your heart is aching, Smile even though its breaking, When there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by, If you smile through your pain and sorrow, Smile it may be tomorrow you’ll see the sun come shining through for you.”

Basically, I know that my grandma is in that better place with God, and that she wants me to smile and be happy because she herself is happy. Now onto more uplifting stuff about life at camp. This last weekend I got the joy of going shopping! And not just at wal mart, but in a real mall! Fact though, the mall was a good 2 hours away. I really am my mother’s daughter if I drove 2 hours just to shop. I also went to Cabella’s for the first time ever. (They don’t have one in California) That was exciting. I plan on going back sometime to buy something so I can say I own something from there. (I’m pathetic.) Anyhow, my weekend was enjoyable thanks to that.

I have come to realize that I am thankful for the fact that I did not live the dorm life experience. Well let’s stick more so with the living with more than one person in a room experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the girl staff I live with. They are fun fantastic and beautiful. But, as the extreme extrovert I am, I have realized that sleep is when I get my alone time. Here is the other thing. I like to sleep at my own time, when I want and how I want. At home, I am used to getting in my nice big comfy bed, sniggling up with my covers, and watching tv until I fall asleep. I knew coming to camp I would lose the TV ability, which has been replaced by my ipod, thusly I am fine on that part. But living with 4 other girls, who all get up at different times, all have their own alarms, and all have their own bedtime schedules has been tricky. I am surviving fine and growing accustom to it. But there is one thing I am totally missing from home. I will be very excited to be back in my bed and my own room.

My bed is not the only thing I miss from home. I am at a loss for words at how much I miss my friends and family. I just feel so disconnected it is weird. My plan this week is to connect with as many as I can, even if it just means sending a letter home to them to let them know I am still alive. And then to say I miss my family is an understatement. I can’t believe it has been like 5 weeks since I have seen them last. I totally appreciate being so close to them now that I know what it is like to be so far away. My sister and I used to call when we were bored, or when we needed advice on who knows what, and not having that has been so weird. (Lindsay be prepared for a phone call a day when I am home. Haha) Hoepfully the being missed is being felt the same at home. And last but not least for the missing is of course the love of my life. I miss Marc (the boyfran) a lot. I luckily have had some opportunity to call him but a long distance phone relationship is not the same. I give people who have done it so much props and respect.

And finally, to sum up this really long blog, I just want to send the message out there that life at camp is still amazing. I miss home, and so many people, but I am growing in so many different ways at camp it is amazing. Everyday brings something new and exciting that I love and I just feel like a better person spititually, mentally, physically, and maturely. I hope to get another blog out this weekend, shorter and possibly more deep. Until then. =]

Eleanor Bensen

Sunday was a sad day. As I am sure most of you who are on my facebook know that my grandma passed away. I know I said my blog was meant for camp life, but this is part of my life that is being lived at camp for now. So tonight my blog post is about her.

My grandma was a big part of my life. She was definitely one of the hardest things to leave home this summer. Over the past years I got super close with my grandma, being the youngest granddaughter who happened to live with her. Not that she had favorites, but I like to think I was her favorite youngest one. =] My grandma was the best at everything. She made the best cookies, the coolest blankets and stuffed animals, and just the best at making desserts. She also was really good at taking care of her grandchildren being a nurse and all. She just always knew what to do. The favorite thing I would say about all my  grandma’s (who are now all with God) was that they all were good at their own things, which helped me learn so much. My other grandma, who passed way too soon, was the best at crafts, and this grandma was the best at cookies/desserts. It just made my childhood fantastic.

In the recent years, my grandma was always critiquing my style. Whether it was hair length/color/style, clothing choice (too dark, too boring, too revealing), or make up choice, she always was there to tell me how she felt. And although she may not have noticed, I took it to heart and usually would change the things she didn’t like.

Also, if I had to pick the latest bond it would be how every night possible I would read to her, just as she did for me when I was younger. It is totally something I will miss doing. But I think it has encouraged me to continue reading myself, to where I know she is somewhere listening as well.  That’s just how God likes to send the guardian angels in our lives. The night my grandma passed, I had a dream of her being healthy and happy and wonderful, and I feel that was her way of telling me she was going to be in heaven, happy and healthy, and letting me know she was okay.

I could easily go on and on about my grandma, but my blog would be too long. To sum it up, I will greatly miss my grandma, she was one of the best, and she will always be loved by all of her family, even her added to family like all my friends who knew her, because she just touched the lives of so many.

RIP Eleanor Bensen

Grandma Mo

First Week Complete!

I know it has been a while, but life at Shoshone just got a little more busy.

We had our first week of Idaho Servant Adventures! It was fantastic. It was sort of a practice week considering there were only 18 people, but it was a serious practice week. I feel so much more confident now, which is good considering 114 people roll in on Sunday. Including my favorite churches. My own of course and our Texas buddies. I am so excited I really can’t even explain it. All I know is a bit of home will be here this week. =]

Some of the best parts of my week included getting a postcard from the youth group at home, as well as a wonderful package from my aunt. The package included cookies, chocolate, pictures, a magazine and this neat little world religions book. So exciting to get mail! So please send me more. It totally brightens my day.  

This blog would be ridiculously long if I told you everything about my week, so I suppose I will just give a brief run down. The weather was depressing.  It poured rain all day every day. Well except for Tuesday. It was nice on Tuesday. This was not fun for piling brush into the back of a truck. Let’s just say I went through almost all my socks this week. Exciting thing was I got to drive a truck around camp! Wooo! I liked one of them, but camp has this old forest service truck that only has 3 gears. I was not a fan. Also, in order to get the key out of the ignition you have to push a button. So weird, and not like my car at all. I got to work with some pretty neat kids this week as well. The group I worked with a little in the beginning of the week were so hard working that on Tuesday they decided to work through lunch to get the project done. Such hard workers! I was quite impressed. That day I also got to work with the Jr ROTC group that was up here. They were a good group of kids, but could definitely use some team work. Hopefully our challenge course helped them a little bit. Anyways, I also got to hang with these fantastic girls who were just so fun and energetic. (Just like me!) They called my goulashes because of my rain boots.

I have come to the conclusion that Fridays are going to be my least favorite day. Groups head out and staff cleans for a couple hours. Not exactly the most enjoyable experience. High School kids are a bit too messy for my liking. I guess it will help me appreciating keeping my room and the house clean when I get back. (maybe) Today cleaning went fast even though we were missing half the staff, so I guess I can’t complain.

Anyways, totally loving the camp life. I got to make some nice lengthy phone calls home this week. Which was a nice little time to catch up. Especially with the love of my life. =] I am not a fan of our phone relationship but I know we will survive. I also feel so disconnected from friends. =[ I really miss friends and have no idea what is going on with them. It’s so weird, but I have so little time to call everyone I would love to talk to. So dear friends at home don’t think I have forgotten about you! I miss you all a ton! And hope to talk to you soon. But for now, it’s time to catch up on sleep and enjoy a day off. 

Anxiety

Staff Training is OFFICIALLY over. =] 

Not that I didn't love learning every possible thing I could need to know about working at camp, but I am ready for camp to start. 

Today was an overwhelming day, only because so much seemed to happen all at once.  But I survived the day, and can say I finally feel calm. Let's see how long it will last.

Truth is over the past few days my anxiety has been awful. I hate it. I miss my old laid back self that was not afraid of anything, not this weird girl who can't handle anything. So silly. For example, def freaked myself out and will not be certified to facilitate camp's zip line. Although after my reaction to it I can say I am totally okay with that. There are plenty of other things I am certified to facilitate. But that anxiety seemed to stretch on to other activities that day. We have these beautiful camp horses that I really enjoyed getting to ride on Tuesday, but on Thursday with high anxiety things weren't as exciting. You see it was raining, and I guess the horses were not a fan of that.  They kept trying to get away which caused two horses to tear their rope off the post they were attached too. One was okay, and one was so upset that it did a summer salt. Watching a horse do something like that was not fun. I really was not looking forward to that horse ride. Luckily the draft pony aka GIANT pony I was riding didn't have any freak outs. That was an exciting day. 

Camp starts Sunday and I am super excited/nervous. Luckily this first week is smaller so the experienced counselors will kinda be leading us new folk around. This way I can feel more confident in what I am doing. There is just so  much to be done in your typical week at camp. But it is a good kind of busy. So I am looking forward to it!  

I get a day off before the adventure begins and I am pretty excited to not only catch up on lost sleep, but I am hoping to go out on some sort of hike to explore the area and enjoy God's beautiful creation I am living in. Super excited for that. Plus with a whole day off I can totally get in some personal time with me and my bible. Good way to connect with God. 

Just another quick scoop on what's happening with me. 

Certification!!

Training is almost over! And I couldn’t be more excited!!

Friday is the last day of training and then the real part of summer begins.  My days won’t be getting any shorter once training is done, but it will be full of wonderful campers and exciting activities all day and night! And I can’t wait.

This last week and weekend of training has been pretty intense. I am now officially
-water front certified
-CPR certified
-First aid certified
-challenge course certified (I think)
and after tomorrow will be Wilderness first aid certified.  So much certification! It is ridiculous. I was totally nervous about all of that stuff but let me tell you, CPR is pretty simple. And as long as you are focused First Aid stuff is doable. I am pretty stoked to be a lifesaver.

The weather has been sooo wonderful since Saturday. It has just been sunshine and blue skies. I love it. But then today the storm clouds came. Which were pretty cool looking, but brought cold weather and rain. Boo. But hopefully the sun will come back soon enough and I can break out the shorts. Although part  of me doesn’t want to because my legs are blinding. It’s embarrassing.

Today I impressed myself by cutting rebar with an electric hand saw thing. I think it was called a saw zaw? Something like that. I’m not sure. All I know is that it involved a fast moving blade and safety glasses. And I managed to cut some pieces and not hurt anyone or myself. Impressive if you ask me. I also did a lot of cleaning and organizing, did some Wilderness First Aid homework, and enjoyed a staff campfire up on the mountain. It was beautiful. But ready to hear about the best part of my day? This morning I went for a horseback ride around camp. So beautiful to ride around the wonderful creation that God gave us on a magnificent creature. And I get to ride again tomorrow! Best ever! I love it.

Anyways, that is my little update of what is happening in my life up at Shoshone. Still miss everyone at home but am doing just fine for now.  Oh and because I am feeling very disconnected from the world, I would love some reminders that people at home still exist, so I know this is sooo old fashioned but I would love to receive mail! You can mail me anything at all!(as long as it is appropriate to be mailed) Just send it to me at:

Danielle Bensen

Shoshone Base Camp

29216 Coeur d'Alene River Road

Wallace Idaho 83873

I would LOOOOVE to receive some stuff from home. Really would keep me sane. :)

Staff Training Exhaustion

Is it June 12 yet? I really would like that day to come. 

In case you were wondering, that's the first official day of camp. =)

Training has been long! Literally busy from 8 am to 10:30 pm. RIDICULOUS! 

Staff training has consisted of mainly two things:

1) Lectures (singing 101, camping 101, etc.)

2) Challenge course. (For those of you who have no idea what that is it’s basically challenges on elements that are meant for building team work.)(and when I say elements I mean balancing logs, wire ropes, and things like that.)

I loved my challenge group team, even though it’s no one from my direct Shoshone staff, its some pretty amazing people. I worked with them for like 18 hours the past 4 days so we are pretty meshed.

But I will be honest. I am soooo sick of training. I sadly have like 8 or 9 more days of it. Not that I want to complain but hey it’s my blog.

I miss home. But I am coping. It has now officially been the longest I have ever been away from home, and I am doing better than I thought I would. I think it is because I am pretty busy and do not even have time to think about it.

Weather has been nice this week! (aka maybe 65 or 70?) Until the rain came today.(along with 40 degree weather!!)  Sad. But rumor has it that it will be 80 sometime this weekend! Which is apparently almost better then whats happening in California? I hear there's tornado warning. Yikes. Anyways, I am hoping for the best as I jump into CPR/First Aid/Wilderness/Water front training! Woo!!

A big thing that I am totally looking into and learning more about and will eventually have a blog post about is how many differences and rules and all this stuff are involved in the differences between Lutherans. Here I am thinking there was just the term Lutheran. And that settled it. Little did I know. 

Today’s blog is pretty simple. Just because I feel dead and sore and don’t have much to update on. Just sending it out to let home know I am surviving, I miss home, and will hopefully have some fun stories about camp to share within the next couple of weeks!!