Here is a question. Confidence and being sure of something you are doing, are those the same? I know a lot of times I lack confidence in myself, but when I am searching for answers to be sure that what I am doing is okay or correct, is that being unconfident? This may sound confusing, but I am just trying to figure out why I feel the need to ask so many questions. I sort of feel like I am so afraid of failure, that if I ask a question to someone else, if a mistake is made it doesn’t fall completely on me. I have heard many times that asking questions is a good thing, but lately I haven’t been feeling so good about it. It seems ridiculous, but now instead of just asking the question whether it is dumb or not, I sit and ponder inside my head for a while on whether the question is worth asking. Then as I am debating the question forever I just sit there and doubt myself feeling like I will most likely pick the wrong thing or say the wrong thing and just epically fail. I know that is an awful thing to do, but I just never know. I feel like I am wasting a lot of time doing that. (Although I suppose I am wasting a lot of time asking the questions) People always say you can never ask too many questions or there is no such thing as a dumb question, but lately I just get such negative feedback for asking any sort of question. (even when I am pretty confident that it is a good question.) Maybe I just need more life experience? Or maybe I just need to deal with failure. One day I will figure it out.
On a good note, I got to drive a nice big truck around town today. It was kind of thrilling. Too bad the day was stressful because so much happened. In a nutshell, I couldn’t find the store I needed, turned around 1000 times, finally found it, didn’t have what I needed, sent to a closed store, dealt with ridiculous things at Wal Mart, filled the back of the truck with brush by myself, had to fill up gas jugs for the first time, tipped one over to where gas spilled in the truck, then spilled gas on me, thought the truck was going to blow up, made it back to camp JUST in time (which is technically late) and then finally took a breath and got through the night. I feel like it is just one of those weeks. Maybe it is because there are 143 people on camp! Plus some ranch camp, and oh yeah did I mention there will be 150 japanese foreign exchange students floating around? It is a fun week! I am very excited that God blessed camp with so many people to experience Jesus in the great outdoors. Can’t complain there. Anyways, I feel like my blog is sort of negative..I will try to post a positive one this weekend. Guess it all depends how the rest of my week goes.
20 more days until my summer in Idaho ends. =[
I think being confident and sure of something you are doing are the same thing. I also think asking questions about a particular choice or action is helpful in figuring out the best possible option. Talking things out with other people is always helpful for me.
ReplyDeleteHowever sometimes there are multiple ways to go about doing something and you just need to pick the way that seems the best to you and go for it. If you mess up then you learned something new and can apply that knowledge next time. If you succeed then you probably also learned something new and have learned to trust yourself a little bit more.
Life experience is fantastic...unfortunately it rarely comes without making many mistakes (but lets go ahead and call them learning opportunities...)
Your pretty ballsy because there are other people that are wondering the same questions but don't have the courage to ask it..
ReplyDeleteFirst of all....questions are a good thing....you just need to give them a LITTLE thought before you ask. And Dani, do not be TOO afraid of failure...like Nick says...it is a learning experience! EVERYONE fails at one time or another! It's not exclusive to you! You are participating in your first BIG opportunity for growth...as a confident, Christian woman! Look at what you've all ready learned in these couple of months...and how you've grown! Like I told you before...I hear that you've matured whenever we speak...just don't try and rush this! I love Katie's response too...concise and to the point!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see you kiddo!
I guess I'm just agreeing with everyone else, but I think they are the same too. I wish we didn't have to screw up a few times to learn but I know that I have learned the best from my failures. They're much harder to forget. So keep trying. Take a deep breath, and go with your gut. If it turns out you were wrong then you will be closer to right the next time.
ReplyDeleteI miss you and camp, but I'm so proud of how you're growing. Keet it up. I'm praying for you.
Bear